Is there a 'right' amount of time to wait before you start dating after divorce?
I think most people would agree that it's a personal decision and there isn't a set rule. I admit that I entered a new relationship fairly soon after my marriage ended, but for us, it was right.
The first thing is that I wasn't looking for a relationship or even to start dating. It really just happened.
People made comments like "well that was fast" or "it didn't take you long to move on" and to those people I say..."Mind your own damn business!"
My marriage was over long before my ex and I chose to admit it. Because of that, I'd already had a chance to come to terms with our separation and had a chance to start grieving the end of my marriage.
Another big factor is that we were already friends, which I want to discuss in detail another day. We weren't looking to 'meet' someone and go through the whole 'getting to know you process'.
That being said, it was still a big decision. Were we doing the right thing? Was it just a rebound relationship? And even though I was so happy I wanted to yell it from the rooftop, a part of me was still worried about what others were going to say.
I am lucky to have some very supportive friends. I was also lucky to find out that some of my friends weren't that great after all!
So, do you think there's a certain amount of time to wait between relationships? Have you ever been in a similar situation? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I agree with you, there is no set amount of time. I once was told there's a "calculation", 1 month for every year you were together (including dating) but I think that is BS to be honest. Like you said, it was over before you guys even admitted it, plus everyone grieves differently so it is definitely a personal thing. I can't imagine people being so petty as to thinking they can judge you for your decisions... decisions that don't affect them in any way. I guess a positive spin would be that it was an eye opener for you - to see who are your real friends. We should only be surrounded by those who love us unconditionally. At the end of the day, if you are happy, then it's a great thing!!!
ReplyDeleteAs long as you are happy, your kids are happy, you do what is right for you. True friends respect your decisions and support even if their opinions differ.
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